Saturday, October 29, 2005
Guess what...school's starting again for me the following week (or should i said work?), and there goes a holiday filled with WoW...WoW....and more WoW... damn boring life. Once school starts, i'll be working within school, everyday 8am-6pm mon - fri T_T, for 18 weeks...AND I'M NOT GETTING PAID!!! this sucks. Oh well guess that's how life is gonna be, till the world ends that is.
Well...i'm back to a depression mood after a dream i had last night, which was totally depressing sad (to me). But well it's kinda private stuff so i wouldn't really tell it in detail. Summary? Saving someone (some disaster? though it wasn't in my dream it was something else), nursed (eg: injuries?) and cherishing that person alot, falling in love, but to only lose the person (very) soon after, to something you couldn't help at all (eg: terminal disease).
Picking up the pieces in life isn't something which i'm good at...so well i just lose all desire to live and "bang!" there you have it, depression and a suicidal fate. Even though there were some happy scenes here and there (there was a wedding in the dream), but i just couldn't muster a (fake) smile nor the slightest bit of happiness... woke up crying (not really crying more like sobbing) at times, it just felt so horrible... been so long since it was so bad.
I wonder how many of us can pick up the pieces after losing the one dearest to you...
It's pretty late (early to some), and i still gotta type out that damn email to my lecturer to report that i wouldn't be attending the first day of "school" as i got NS medicial checkup. Signing off...
